Pictures for Gordon

Finally, I would like to introduce the first of what I hope is a long series of posts dedicated to Gordon. I will say no more, but just let the images speak for themselves.

Picture No.1: A pizzeria on a street near our house:

So Just What Have We Been Doing? Part 1

You would also all, I'm sure, like to know just what we've been up to over the last three months whilst we haven't been thinking of pathetic excuses to not write up the blog. Well, in order to answer your questions, I intend to take you back to the past with a series of posts relating events of the past three months.

The first event I would like to relate to you is my first experience of Italian five-a-side. Now, Italians are passionate about football, but not only in a fanatical way commonly witnessed in the UK. Here, there are many levels to football worship, ranging from the bestial up through to the philosophically enervating. The game of calcetto, for example, is a very different wee beastie here than it is in the UK. In the UK, such a contest generally consists of lots of running, occasional flashes of brilliance, many comedy moments and lots of banter.

Unfortunately for me, calcetto consists of minimal banter, strict tactical awareness (they play five-a-side with a 1-2-1 formation, with the striker being best described as a 'goal-hanger'), and crisp passing football. No hopeful lobs over the other team's midfield, oh no. The ball has to be played on the floor, preferably as part of some triangular movement involving another team-mate, and no one makes speculative runs. Thus, as my footballing friends will by now know, the following was a good summation of my overall contribution:

Feature No.1: Who Is This?

I now look like this:

But people here in Italy seem to think I look like this guy:

Now, I don't know if you agree with my Italian colleagues that I am Reinhold Messner ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Messner ), so who else do I remind you of? Answers on the back of a postcard (preferably attached to this blog...)

A Need

Not for speed, but certainly to try and resuscitate this blog of mine. It won't be easy, and I apologise heartily for the last three months of inactivity, but I will, from now on, try to keep this thing reasonably well updated.

The reason for the delay, if you want to hear an excuse, is that we have been in a period of transition, where we have moved from one temporary home to another, and where we have then indulged in an Italian summer (nothing happens here in August apart from everyone heading to the beach), and then finally our working lives resurrected themselves with a vengeance.

Still, none of these things deserve ignoring you, my now much dwindled reading public, so, in order to try and appease you a little (in a manner akin to Roman emperors throwing Christians to the lions [and yes, obviously I am a Roman emperor and everyone else is an untamed beastie]), I would like to introduce two new features to this blog:

La Serenissima

La serenissima...

Is, as you may know, how Venice (Venezia) likes to call itself. This weekend, Fra and I went to visit her friend, Ilaria, and her partner, Edoardo (otherwise known as Mr Salzano - see http://www.eddyburg.com/), who live slap bang in the middle of Venice. Anyway, also there were Alejandra and Alfonso, who are Mexican. Alejandra works, like Fra, for Stephen Levrant. Ilaria used to work for Stephen Levrant, and still occasionally does.

We didn't, however, spend much time in Venice itself, preferring to visit its outer edges. This was nothing to do with the state of Venice itself (surprisingly, when you're with a Venetian, adopted or native, it's very easy to avoid the tourists), but more to do with the fact that if you don't move fast enough through it's winding alleyways, it eats you...

So, on Saturday we went to the islands of Burano and Torcello. This, below, is Burano.

Colourful, isn't it? And this is the same place but when viewed from a distance (on a convenient campanile...)



The campanile in question was on the island of Torcello, which, according to history, was an early competitor to Venice, being the seat of a bishopric in the seventh century, would you believe.

This is a view of the cathedral and campanile of Torcello, and, if you would pay careful attention, you'll notice that the shutters on the window are actually stone...

After wondering around the outlying islands of the Venetian lagoon, Francesca offered to show A&A just what she'd learnt from her year studying hard in Venice, and promptly led us off down twisting alleyways to the nearest convenient osteria. For those who may be uninitiated, Venice is famous for much more than just gondoliers, tourism and sexual licence (well, that's why people went there in the 18th century according to my current reading...). The traditional toast of Venetians is a 'spritz', which is a cocktail of campari, white wine and soda. This particular beverage is usually taken with a polpette (a fried meatball - very happily for my belly, I have discovered that Italians have a profound and embracing love for fried food...) Francesca gleefully took us to a number of such hostelries before we retired in good order for our evening meal...

Which was a very pleasant dinner (with excellent wine - Custoza) back at the home of Eddy and Ilaria involving delicious stuffed peppers, melons, beans and aubergines. This feast of health and delight was followed by a presentation regarding the plans for the alleged 'protection' of the Venetian lagoon. You should see Eddyburg for more information, but suffice it to say that people who have, at best, a misguided view of a beneficial scheme to preserve an individual piece of human endeavour are likely to profit hugely from it. Surprising, hmm?

Anyway, I will leave you with a mathematical truth:

Waiting for this:

plus this...

equals this:

Decor

Just for those who might appreciate such styling, I present our kitchen and our bathroom...

And this is our view of Milan as we go to sleep each night...

(And despite what Francesca first thought, it's actually a name of a prosciutto cotto...)

Strange Things

Right. I've noticed that yellow is quite horrible for text, and so I've changed it. Not that I think anyone saw it, but trust me.

So.

Strange things (or things which I have noticed that are a little strange here in Italy). In list format.

1. There are two different types of plug socket, which are not compatible with each other. One is for white goods, apparently, and the other is for normal, everyday items. One reason for this, apparently, is that the German type European plug, as used by Italians for white goods, is more hardy (you've got to admire the Germans). I have illustrated the two different types of plug below for your edification (but achieved to get them in the wrong place).

2. Every town in Italy has its own bank. Fact. Find a tiny little town in the middle of Calabria, and I guarantee it will have its own bank.

3. You pay more for a dirty, slow train than you do for a fast, clean one.

They're the only ones that I can think of for now, but you can rest assured that, should I stumble across others, I'll let you know...

The Start

Hello.

This is the first in what will hopefully develop into something of a shared diary. A diary shared between me, the Onion, and you. Now, some of you may find an alarming similarity, at first anyway, between this and another record of a close friend of mine from whom I am borrowing the idea and, at first, the form. I am a plagiarist and I make little apology for the fact (I think the font is different, anyway, so that might assuage you, Mr Ted).

Anyway, this should be a living document recording mine and Fra's experiences here in Italy. Unfortunately, due to my slovenliness (and the fact that we've been eating out on expenses for the past month), you've missed out on the first thirty days. Perhaps I should make an attempt to record them, but I think a brief summary should suffice.

So, Fra and I arrived in Italy on June 2nd. Subsequently, I have noticed a number of curious items which I shall record in due time, but our prime activities have so far been the following:
1. Working;
2. Looking for somewhere to live;
3. Eating;
4. Travelling around.

Item no. 1 - work: I now work for Arup Italia S.r.L, and am entitled to 35 days holiday per year, plus 13 public holidays. I will say no more on this subject, except smile widely.

Item no.2 - for those who don't know, accommodation in Milan is ludicrously expensive. Typical rents for a two bedroom flat are between 1,000 and 1,500 euros, depending on the area and whether you like your neighbours to see you scratch your belly or not. This is allied to the preposterous propensity of Milanese landlords to ask for three months' rent in advance, three months' deposit and also to tie you into a six month notice period should you want to leave. Bathrooms and kitchens are also not always provided, and agency fees are in the region of 15%. Ergo, Francesca and I have decided to buy a house and, in the interim, her generous cousin has allowed us to stay in his house in Milan (as he is currently living in Finland).

Item no.3 - Eating. Well, what can I say? Three words only: short term assignment. I think my belly has rarely been happier (apart from when once served with Beef Wellington and dauphinoise potatoes...)

Item no.4 - So far, you've missed out on Torino, Genova, Torino again and Verona. However, post no.2 should show you our most recent visit to an Italian city: Venice.

I will stop introducing and summarising now, and move on to writing about Venice. Ciao, tutti!